Sadly, this is a challenge we all experience whether it is arguing with parents over the dishes or choosing to meet up with friends rather than staying at home. Even as an adult, it becomes easy to slip into old habits and regress into the children we once were. For some, they even go back home and sleep in their old room which is decorated just as it was when they left. This can make the kid in each of us show up even more.

At this point, we should note that we aren’t saying this process happens to everyone but it is certainly a problem for many. According to many experts, family roles die hard and we slip into what feels familiar and this can be damaging if we aren’t strong enough to resist the pull. With this being said, how do we resist because it sounds easier than it is in reality?

Two-Way Road – First, it is definitely a two-way street and you will need to sit down with your parents to discuss certain things. For example, you should be able to bring your partner home and sleep in the same bed (something that some parents prevent). As adults, it is important to negotiate while still respecting your parents wishes. Often, disrespecting and going against the word of your parents is what causes the slip back into the teenage mindset so offer to stay in a hotel if necessary.

Resolve Conflicts – Next, we recommend resolving all conflicts before you come home and treating your return as a fresh start as an adult. Once this is done, the parents will enjoy their time with you without envying the time you want to spend with friends. When there is an unhealthy relationship at the forefront of everything, traditions will be hard to adjust and your parents will question why nothing is good enough for you now when it was in the past.

Ultimately, it is all about finding a healthy adult relationship.   As well as respecting each other’s wishes, you need to be strong enough to negotiate and treat each other like adults rather than reverting. For the first few times, this might require a extra focus to achieve a healthy mindset but eventually it can work and you will Live Life Fully even at home with your family!

If this doesn’t work try Adele.  It seemed to work for this family at Thanksgiving!

The post Do You Revert to Childhood When You Go Home for Holidays? appeared first on Energetic Awakenings.

Before we head any further, we should explain why being a ‘yes person’ is bad news. Ultimately, the biggest problem with this habit is that there is always something being sacrificed for each new task you take on. For the most part, this will be your free time, right? ‘Can you pick up my clothes from the store?’ and ‘can you complete the ‘x’ account’ are both statements that come at a cost because you will need to forgo something else.

With people who cannot say no, they carry the whole weight of the world on their shoulders and people just assume that everything is well. As they experience more and more stress, the same people come back again and request a new task without knowing because they always get a ‘yes’ in reply. If you can relate to this, we understand your fear – normally this is a fear of being disliked or not trusted any longer – but you need to learn the skill of saying no because you will benefit.

When you say ‘no’, you start to respect your limitations and accept the fact that you deserve some time to yourself. If you have too much at work and you don’t think you can put your all into a new task, a ‘no’ will tell your manager, friends, or family that you have too much already and they should respect your honesty. As long as you aren’t just using the magic word to be lazy, you will become more confident and your time will be more valuable to you and everyone else.

Advice – At this point, you might be wondering how you can get started so we have compiled some tips below;

• Learn to give simple responses to questions; instead of starting with thanks and talking yourself into the job, be strong and offer a reason why you cannot help.
• If you aren’t sure, say that you will get back to them and then you can say ‘no’ with assurance and confidence having assessed your schedule.
• Understand that you are simply rejecting one request, not the person entirely. Just as they have a right to ask the favor, you have a right to refuse.
• Finally, get to know yourself and what you want.

Once you can do the above, you will have more control, people won’t abuse your kindness, and you can  Live Life Fully!

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In short, yes. Before you click away in frustration, allow me to explain. Ultimately, it all comes down to the definition of the term ‘date’ and this is where some people get confused. By ‘date’, I mean the early exchanges of meeting people and getting to know whether they are a good fit. Once you have decided to give it a go with somebody, I don’t support dating others because you have made the commitment to get to know this one person.

On the flip side, it is perfectly fine to meet a few different people before deciding where your attention should go. On this planet, there are seven billion people so surely we would be naive in thinking that the first person we meet is going to be ‘the one’? With everybody offering a slightly different personality and sense of humor, we should be meeting different people before settling down with the one we connect with the most.

In recent years, there has been a rushed feeling towards dating and this has led to the highest divorce rates we have ever seen. Although they have dipped in the last couple of years, it still stands at 40%-50% of marriages and this is nothing short of shocking. Essentially, we are saying that marriages now have a 50-50 chance of survival. Why? Perhaps this is because we are rushing into relationships with the wrong people without having a chance to meet others?

With marriage, this is a lifelong promise to be by one another’s side through the good times and the bad. When we rush into relationships and get married quickly, how are we possibly supposed to know whether these are the people with which we want to spend the rest of our lives? As long as we use the word ‘date’ in the right context, there is nothing wrong with meeting numerous people because this gives us the best chance of finding those with a similar mindset, sense of humor, personality, and more. If we give ourselves this opportunity, we might just Live Life Fully!

The post Should You Date Multiple People at the Same Time? appeared first on Energetic Awakenings.

 Over time, shame can be damaging because we stop being ourselves and start to cocoon inwards. Therefore, you should always be looking to let go of shame and it can begin with giving up the never-ending pursuit for perfection. Often, shame comes because we made a mistake and we didn’t reach this seemingly impossible state of perfection. Rather than aiming for this impossible target, it is time to learn more about you and what you want to/can achieve.

 Next, you need to stop thinking about the things you have done wrong all the time. Otherwise known as rumination, this leads to anxiety, depression, and can even have physical effects such as higher blood pressure. Although this is easy to do, you have to remember that it solves nothing. In life, we move forwards so focusing on what has been and gone will only lead to a downwards spiral.

 Once you learn to do these two things, you can start to build your self-esteem. To start, you should write down a list of things you like about yourself or even your achievements whether it is in your job or personal life. From qualifications to helping others, write them all down. Then, you can introduce daily affirmations which are positive statements to flip your mindset from a negative one to a positive. As you grow as a person, you will learn to appreciate that you are unique. Despite there being seven billion people in the world, there is only one you which is why your quest for perfection is a little pointless. Of course, we aren’t saying that you shouldn’t strive to achieve because this is something entirely different.

 As you surround yourself with positive people, your self-esteem will grow and there will be only one last thing to remember – opinions are different to facts. When someone else or even you give an opinion about yourself, it isn’t a fact. When you say, ‘I’m so stupid’, you can look at your list of achievements which suggests otherwise. With this mindset, you don’t have to worry about what others think and you can let go of any potential shame you feel to Live Life Fully!

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The problem? Over time, we have convinced ourselves that we need to be strong individuals, alone, and tough enough to stop getting hurt. In essence, we have removed all vulnerability which means that we are shielding ourselves from love and connection. With vulnerability, we are really saying ‘here I am with all my flaws, secrets, and fears’. Since we are quickly removing all vulnerability, we aren’t connecting with others on a deep enough level which means that these relationships have no chance of survival when the going gets tough.

With any relationship, one of the most important factors is trust. Whether it is a friendship, romantic relationship, or even a familial relationship, trust is the factor that underpins everything. When someone opens up and shows weakness, the other party can say ‘It’s fine, I am with you every step of the way’ but this isn’t happening anymore. Sadly, most relationships are doomed from the very beginning.

Solution – So you may be wondering ‘well, how do I live with vulnerability?’ and this is a good question. To start, you need to live with heart which means be open and honest with everyone. When you love openly, you will know when something is missing which means that you can take action to fill this void. If you couple this with courage, there is no way you can go wrong.

When in a relationship, this means following your passion, telling them you love them, expecting more from yourself and them, and more. However, it also means that you have no fear of being alone when a relationship isn’t working. Let’s be clear, vulnerability isn’t naivety and it also isn’t sharing every detail of your life with someone. Instead, it means knowing when to open up and trust someone who is worth the risk. Just like trust, vulnerability is earned so you need to be ready to offer it as soon as it is necessary.

Instead of living in fear and closing the door, allow yourself to be vulnerable and love with courage. This way, your relationships have a better chance of success and you can Live Life Fully!

The post Vulnerability – Creating a Deeper Connection appeared first on Energetic Awakenings.

Of course, we don’t actually mean that there is another physical being somewhere inside your body. However, we do believe that your original or true self can be found within and it is often concealed by adulthood. As children, we have a set of beliefs and we actually get many areas of life right even with no experience. As we age, our adulthood often conceals these truths and we move away from our true selves or our authentic selves.   When this happens our inner child then often runs amuck! So what can you do to look after your inner child?

Be Aware – Firstly, listen to your inner child’s feelings, fears, and needs. As soon as you learn this skill, you can move forward with less fear. Over time, you will then connect and learn what works as well as what doesn’t. From here, conscious decisions can be made about whether or not to continue with certain activities in life.

Feel – For years and years as adults, we have been suppressing the feelings and emotions from the inner child so now is the time to let them shine. As you start to allow certain feelings and emotions to escape, you start to learn how each one feels, and you can begin to process your feelings to make the little kid feel safe.

Remove Toxic Situations – In life, there are various events that are bad for our inner child and bad relationships are perhaps the most common example. When your inner child believes that something is toxic, it will let you know so it is important to be in touch with your feelings as we said before. Thus pay attention to the feelings and take action if the relationship or situation is toxic.

Vulnerability v Fear – Finally, it is important to learn the distinction between these two factors. Sometimes, your inner child can become disowned which is why you need to reconnect. If your inner child is a little sensitive, learn how to keep it protected; for example, having a little conversation with yourself and assuring the little kid that you are going to keep you both safe.

Once you learn these things, you will be listening and taking care of your inner child which is important. If you are interested in learning more about the inner child, we recommend reading the book Healing the Child Within.

If you are looking after your inner child, your inner child will look after you in return so you can Live Life Fully.

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Over the past week, I have received many phone calls about friends and family members who have died or are on their death bed.  I saw a photo of a very dear man in the hospital. This man, this friend, has taught many lessons over the past 10 years even from a distance.  As I sat and looked at the photo on my phone, I could feel tears welling up and I was resistant to let them out.   Then I had to remind myself that having my feelings and grief are ok and a healthy process.  So here are some reminder…

Use Your Feelings – Although it might not seem possible, there are healthy ways to grieve and the first way of doing this is to acknowledge your feelings. Rather than burying how you feel, talk to yourself and open up. Whether it is sadness, fear, pain, anger, or any other emotion, let it flow without judgement. By doing this, you are admitting how you feel to yourself which will allow you to take the correct steps moving forward.

Connect – Often, families will separate after a loved one passes away but this is actually the perfect time to use each other and pull together as a unit. Whenever possible, talk to each other, listen to what you are feeling, and maybe even cry together. Once you learn to do this, your bond will grow and you can use these relationships every day.

Take Time – With grief, it is a feeling that affects us all in completely different ways. While some people deal with their feelings and can move forward quickly, others find that it takes a long time before the emotions start to show and this is absolutely fine. Since we are all unique individuals, you need to listen to yourself without forcing grief to happen.  Once you begin to have your feeling there is no predefined time in which you must wrap it all up.  Give yourself the time you need.

Seek Help – If you have reasons not to engage with family and friends, why not seek the help of someone who is completely impartial and doesn’t know you or the deceased? Strangely enough, just talking through the situation can allow you to see things a little clearer. If you can’t talk to someone, at least write them down and allow your mind to be free.

Be Healthy – Finally, many people stop looking after themselves after losing someone so promise yourself that you will keep eating well and exercise wherever possible. Not only will this keep your body in good shape, it will keep your mind healthy which is vital to Live Life Fully.

The post How To Grieve In A Healthy Way appeared first on Energetic Awakenings.

Breathe – Before you skip this tip entirely, have you actually tried it? There is a reason why everybody tells you to take a deep breath when panicking or during stressful situations. For a couple of minutes, sit up straight and just take some deep breaths. If possible, try to remove all thoughts from your mind and concentrate on the physical process of breathing and this can work wonders.

Move Your Body / Exercise – Exercise is considered vital for maintaining mental fitness, and it can reduce stress. Studies show that it is very effective at reducing fatigue, improving alertness and concentration, and at enhancing overall cognitive function. This can be especially helpful when stress has depleted your energy or ability to concentrate.  Often, we think that when stressed we don’t have the energy to exercise.  However, a good work out can flip the switch and help alleviate the stress and give you more energy.

Talk to Yourself – Often, we feel stressed because there are so many things flying around our minds. If this is the case, take the time to talk yourself through your day and what you need to do. If you have a problem, speaking aloud can enable you to see things from a different perspective.

Speak to Friends – If you want a purely objective opinion, phone your friends. Even if you need to take a minute out of your hectic day and you believe that you have no time, just sit yourself down and speak to a friend for a few minutes. Sometimes, a friendly and reassuring voice is all you need.

Use Music – With music, you have something that everyone on the planet likes in some form or another so find what you like and listen to it. Whether it is a classical piece or the newest rap song, find music that keeps you calm. Again, just taking these few minutes to relax can put the rest of the day in context and suddenly everything seems easier.

Eat Well – As technology has evolved, we have been able to learn exactly what impact food has on our lives so we now know that it has a close relationship with our stress levels. When stressed, you should look for some fruit rather than sugar because this will give you a real boost. With sugar, you will feel good for about ten minutes before feeling even worse thereafter.

Take a Break – With this one, we appreciate that it is easier said than done but it is one of the best tips we can offer. Whether you need to book a day off from work or even a week for a vacation, you need to take a break from whatever it is that is building the stress levels. Once your mind has had this period of time to relax, you will find it easier to focus upon your return.

As you can see, alleviating stress can be incredibly simple. Whichever tips you choose, make sure that you try your best because stress can be damaging over time. Instead, you can be happy and Live Life Fully!

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When you hold onto guilt, you hold onto the pain that came at the same time and this leads to other emotions such as anger or even embarrassment. Whenever you hold onto such emotions, you never really have a chance to move forward because it is like trying to drive a car while looking in the rear-view mirror. Of course, this is impossible because you are concentrating on what has been and gone rather than what is in the present and what is yet to come.

To start the process, you have to realize that you cannot change the things that have happened in the past. If you made a mistake or have guilt for certain events, there is no possible way to go back and change your actions. This being said, there is a way to not let it affect your future and that is by letting go. Although this may seem hard at first, you need to let go of this emotion and learn to forgive yourself. Just like you forgive friends, family, colleagues, and others when they make a mistake, you should do the same for yourself for the good of your health.

Over time, people always say that we learn from the good things that happen but we disagree. Instead, we think that you also need to learn from the bad. If you have overwhelming guilt, review the situation and learn a lesson. As soon as you learn from past experiences, you can forget about the guilt and move on. Sadly, we seem to punish ourselves even though others have offered forgiveness and the only person this is damaging is…you guessed it, ourselves.

Although the process of letting go can be difficult at first, you can start the process by writing down your mistakes and the lessons you learned as a result. Furthermore, you can ask for forgiveness from others if this applies or you could even schedule time with a professional to help you process the situation. However you approach your situation, do it with an open mind as well as an open heart to Live Life Fully once again.

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